People are great, they have unbelievable talents and abilities and yet, don’t acknowledge them.
Self-confidence and lies are what make people struggle the most.
1.“If you don’t believe in yourself, nobody will.”
During the career coaching sessions with my clients, one of the multiple challenges for them is to learn how to ‘market’ themselves during job interviews, understanding their weaknesses, strengths, passions and aims.
I am often surprised when I verbalise their talents as they react saying “Are you serious? Don’t make me feel TOO important!’. Their biggest fear is to sound presumptuous during a job interview, hence, they keep a low profile rather than show their best. I am flabbergasted!
Essentially, a little motivational hint makes them feel inadequate, or even worse, liars. I have often evaluated the hypothesis of the extreme humbleness, or a very low self-esteem. My role as coach is nothing more than help them shift their lenses in the way they look at themselves.
2. Lie to me
in other words, the impact that Social Media (and even our Grandmas!) have on us
It is during Life Coaching sessions that I find the biggest issues with lies.
Very often we believe the falsehoods we have been told since we were little. “If you don’t behave like a lady, no man will ever want to marry you” (I can list you at least 57 female friends of mine who were brought up living this very lie – blessed grannies!) “You are stupid!” or – even worse –“You are too good and too clever!”.
Lies are double edged swords, utterly dangerous and – alas – socially accepted. Their role is to mislead us, to deceive us from reality. We believe them and intrinsically, we allow them to guide our choices and opinions.
Social media, mass media and magazines play a big part in the game.
There is too much information, however a superficial knowledge of the reality. We see Kim, Khloe, Britney, Obama, Beckham, we identify in them, we want to emulate their attitude and style – convincing ourselves we need to have that kind of car or that hand bag only because they have it.
Social media subtly suggest us the fact that anyone should wear a pair of Louboutin shoes or should marry a woman as hot as a Victoria’s Secret model to be accepted. We admire and (try to) emulate their behaviour, fascinated by their social status, confident and sure that we can become as ‘cool’ as them. They tell us how to dress, what to eat, what make up we should use, what perfume to choose for Christmas, what sport to play.
We believe in a never ending lie, built up by clever marketing experts.
This is the greatest paradox of people: they compare themselves to unreachable and unrealistic celebrities, with the consequence of feeling awful when failing.
3.You are beautifully Unique
The best part of my role is when I make people realise how amazing and unique they are. When they understand how skilled and efficient they can be, their reaction is no more than a stunned expression followed by a “Oh…Maybe you’re right.. I have never thought I could be THAT good!”.
We all have our talents, vulnerabilities and peculiarities. The only thing one has to do, is to understand how to embrace them to become a better human being.